Ramanama

I recently finished another book about Gandhi, this one an anthology of his writings. I swear I love this man, I love what he stood for and what he so steadfastly attempted to embody. I loved his lifetime model for turning theory into practice, the abstract into the concrete. Rare has so pure a life been lived. Walking the walk, an entire nation of people loved him as their own father. Though we have all the guidance we need within, I wish I knew one such as him to turn to for wisdom when it was needed.

I learned in the intro to the anthology that, to understand Gandhi you must see him as a mystic, ever desiring to know for himself the unitary knowledge of eternal reality, ever desiring to sacrifice all that was not truth within himself upon the altar of that seeking, ever seeking greater humility and love towards his fellow beings, ever attempting to transcend all cultural, religious, and societal distortions to abide in that one mysterious truth to which we are all heir.

At some point in his life he picked up the practice of ramanama. Basically, it is the repetition of the Creator's name - aloud at times but more so within the thoughts of the self. This struck me as a highly efficacious means to bring about that recollected consciousness I so seek to carry into each moment that greets me, thus did i take up a similar practice.

I began by "saying" in my thoughts, over and over, "one creator". This is the base rhythm from which i can creatively build from and expand upon. I make variations to this, such as "one infinite Creator", "infinity", "unconditional love", "i seek the one", etc. When i began this practice I was repeating the Creator's so-called "name" more than I am now. I was waking up in the night singing that sweet rhythm and, it was strange but my right knee felt like it was swelling with pressure everytime i would start repeating "one infinite Creator". Occasionally I still find myself waking in the night, repeating this phrase.

Though I find it virtually impossible, being in an extremely busy, hectic, and distracted culture and society, I believe that if one could retrain their minds to think upon unity throughout all the moments of their day, they would soon realize that which they were looking for. The difficulty in doing this is that, as i mentioned, there are a million and one distractions that take the mind away, there are as many obligations and duties to see to, and even in an environment with no external distractions, such as meditation, the mind itself is hardwired to be wildly unfocused, rambunctious, undisciplined, and resembling much the behavior of an already high-strung individual having just ingested a liberal does of meth-amphetamines. It wants to do anything BUT become relaxed, still, and one-pointed upon that which, to the analytical mind, seems void and empty.

Remembering your seeking, remembering to greet the moment with both eyes seeing through the circumstance at hand towards the truth, that truth for which the symbols of the physical world only point to but do not equate with, remembering to desire the truth instead of letting the separate self's cravings and aversions run the show for you --- this is key. Like Sarah in the Labyrinth, we are each on a quest where there seem more dead ends, traps, and circular pathways than those which lead to the center. The Labyrinth wishes us to forget our quest and instead lose ourselves in the comforts of sleep and our previous symbols of reference and identity. If only we could keep with us the memory of our seeking at all times! There would be no true barriers except those that we allow to exist. With one-pointed memory of our dedication and the faith that what we seek is already and forever within us, we could walk straight through what would seem like solid walls in the labyrinth of real life. No moment could trick us away from our seeking for very long because the strength of our desire would guide us home no matter our starting point nor our situation relative to the center. We would commence the journey and not stop putting one foot in front of the other until we were on that ground which seemed only a distant echo of a dream in some corner of our hearts when we began.

This practice of Ramanama is the greatest means I have come across for remembering to not be blinded by the red, orange, and yellow ray concerns of survival, sex, social positioning, and power issues. Remembering to see my environment as an illusory manifestation of one being, to see others about myself as the one Creator, and to see myself not as a being of flesh'n'bones but as a being of pure Light, i would not be so easily duped by the mental patterns that are anxious about the future, guilty about the past, and forever concerned in seeking lasting satisfaction in that which does not last. It is a wonderful means for the disciplining of the personality which Ra so commends to the seeker of truth.

That is totally the primary mission: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you." (Something to that effect.) Everything will sort of "fall into place" when we keep our hearts straight and oriented towards that single truth beneath and beyond the surface play of maya or illusion.

How could one not profit from thinking about, contempltaing, and meditating upon the Creator? What situation would not benefit from bringing the Creator into the forefront of one's thoughts? Isn't it like saying, "I see through this all, Creator. I see the shadows, I see the darkness surrounding me, but I know that this is you, I know that, behind this all and in every iota of this experience is you in all your glory. I no longer wish to be ensnared in samsara, the cosmic delusion. I no longer will look at the world through the eyes of the animal self or the societal self. I will look through your exquisite computer-like program of a finite world seemingly devoid of God and I will see a masterpiece of art, I will see you. I will see the clues embedded deeply within every person, every sensation, every thought, every experience, and ever moment. I will undertake suffering voluntarily and joyfully. I will let go of my attachments to this material existence in order that you might fill me with your truth which is not material. I will wake up from the dream and be with you."

Ramanama is a means to an end. It is a practice which often is without profundity or deep meaning-- I repeat "one creator" while being fully lost within the illusion of daily concerns and worries and stresses, my mind soaked in lesser concerns than seeking the One. Yet, in repeating the words, one part of my consciousness has not let go, one part adamantly clings to the memory of my seeking so that, when more "space" is available within my thoughts, the rest of my conscious self can enjoin the repetition of One Creator and, as a whole, I can focus upon unity, lifting my thinking, my expectations, my hopes and my fears into the light, in songs of praise and thanksgiving, so that that which is not real within me will fall away.

The desire to seek runs deep within me and will resurface regardless of circumstance experienced in the interval and regardless of how deeply distracted i become or how deep in a coma-like sleep I fall... there is no stopping the seeking. With ramanama i hope to make it more constant, to bring it up into my conscious thinking on a more dependable and steady basis so that I may do the work of spiritual evolution in each and every moment, not only in meditation or during my spiritually oriented reading or during those surreal moments when beauty strikes me so hard that I can not help but contemplate the glory of the One Creator. But at all times.

This repetition is a means of refining, implementing, and crystallizing intent. By persisting in the repetition, I am softly rapping on infinity’s door. Eventually, that door will open. Until then, I repeat those words which point to a reality which words can never touch, "One Creator".